Thursday, May 10, 2012

Heartbreaks & hugs

I belong to a quilt group. I love it. We meet together once a month. We have a teaching moment where we learn something new, we bring finished projects & share what we have done while everyone tells us how cute it us, we eat, we laugh, we have a wonderful time. We can bring our kids & they all play in the other room. We have young mothers to great grandmothers come. It is one of the highlights of my month.
I went on Tuesday & noticed it was a little more somber than normal. I showed up late & did not know what was going on. Until someone filled me in. You see there were two of us young moms pregnant. Me & another girl. Both with boys, both sick the entire pregnancy, both due within 3 weeks of each other, both scheduled C-sections. She had contractions on Friday, so she called her husband home from work, they went in, but they were only 30 minutes apart, not close enough they said. Everything else looks good they said. so they sent her home. She sent her husband back out of town back to work, because her scheduled C-section wasn't for another week & half. She dropped her kids off at a friends & headed into her regular doctors appointment.
But this time there was no heartbeat, So they rushed her (alone) into an emergency C-section. The baby had died. For no known reason. He was perfect as far as they could tell. She said he was beautiful, but somehow between Friday & monday they lost him.
Oh the pain I felt when I heard this story. It broke my heart. It hit close to home. You see there is a lot more similarities between us besides the ones I mentioned above. I too headed into the hospital early because I was having contractions, but mine were 5 minutes apart. But I was a scheduled C-section, & still had a few weeks. So they sent me home, we debated whether to fight them or not, but my husband too was leaving town at 5 the next morning. So we went home & hoped everything would be alright. So we went in the next for our regular appointment, & Finally our day arrived, my scheduled C-section. When they cut me open the found that my baby boy had his umbilical cord wrapped multiple times around his neck. He was healthy & we were lucky. But when I think of My friend & her baby, I know that it very easily could have been mine.
So my heart has been breaking this week. I have held my coyote a little longer. I am having a harder time setting him down. As I write this he is asleep on my chest

And I continue to hug him & my little boys a little more. We have had multiple miscarriages in the 4 years waiting for this baby, but I can't imagine the pain of being so close & seeing him, only to have him gone. I know this is a pretty somber post, but it's been on my mind the last few days. So I needed to share, to remember our blessings, send some extra prayers to this dear family & to remember to hug your precious ones a little longer.
Now if you will excuse me I need to hold my previous baby a few more minutes before laying him down for a nap & feeding & focusing on my 3 older ones.
Until another time - Me

1 comment:

  1. I've been thinking about this, too. I had several miscarriages also, but this is different somehow. She is so much in my thoughts.